Allow the silky Appy experience to engulf you in the taste that's oh, so classic.

Fantastic news! The men here are terrifyingly creepy, never stop staring at white women (you think I'm joking but you have no idea), catcall, and apparently take benign smiles as an invitation. Yes, this may sound like it sucks, but it actually just means that I get to focus on trying to be as ugly as humanly possible (which has always been a favorite secret hobby of mine that up until now was social unacceptable). I am so pumped. Frumpy, mismatched clothes. No make-up. I think I'm going to stop shaving my legs, maybe start drawing a beard on myself. There are so many possibilities...

CIEE took 3000 rupees out of the budget for each person in our group to buy Indian clothes at this store called Fab India so we can blend in and have enough modest clothing. I was, as usual, was very overly excited about this and got a bunch of insane pattern clothes that are impossible to match with anything (so there is no chance that I will be "blending in"), and a pair of those crazy Alladin pants I always wanted as a little kid (they're very common here). Everyone else was a little overexcited about them, too, so yesterday everyone (except me and maybe 3 other people) in our very large group of 95% white, obviously foreign kids wore their new Indian clothes out to town (one of the Indian women even gave some of the girls bindis). But we have no sense of the subtleties of Indian fashion, which things are formal, etc... and we're still a group of 30 mostly white kids. So we must have looked absolutely hilarious.

I had my first experience with a randomer wanting to take my picture (we can't attribute this to my silly attempts to look Indian because I was wearing Western clothes. I'm going to assume its because I'm a celebrity). This woman at the palace we visited stuck a camera in my face and shouted "PICTURE PICTURE!" then banged the camera with her hand like 6 times (I'm not sure if she actually knew how to use the camera) and then posed in several more pictures with me as I laughed hysterically. People told me this would happen but I assumed they meant two or three times in the entire semester. It happened like six more times just yesterday. We visited Golgotha fort later and a group of Indian school boys actually swarmed one of the boys in our group and started chanting excitedly and taking hundreds of pictures (it was a funny swarm involving highfives and excited questions, rather than a terrifying swarm.) Although I'm still really bothered by it, I prefer this attention to the lurid stares from strange men and the terrifying groveling of beggars who have trained their children to swarm white people who have no idea how to respond to it. It's a pretty legitimate strategy. I've seen tons of beggars in the US and Europe but its never been anything like this. People here will be simultaneously aggressive and pathetic and they do not let up no matter what. They send their kids crying and hanging onto you, they wave severred limbs in your face, they scream. It's extremely disturbing because I know its a strategy to make me feel guilty and that I'll get attacked by tons of other people if I give anyone anything, but I also know that it's an entirely necessary strategy in most cases because the overcrowding and poverty are just so bad. I'm starting to understand how the caste system perpepetuates. I'm supposed to ignore people. You bascially can't acknowledge every person as a human being if you want to function, physically and emotionally -- at least not when you're standing next to them.

A large group of us went to a craft fair in town two nights ago, which was really exciting. The taxi driver played a CD of popular indie music (Shins, Iron and Wine, etc.), which I found extremely funny because India seems like a pseudo-enlightened hipster Mecca, and I'm sure some white kid in the past gave the man this "awesome, chill mix CD," and he assumed that the giant group of Western dumbasses would love it, which we did. (I'm pretty sure that everyone is just laughing at me constantly in this country, which I do not mind in the least. I deserve it. I have no idea what I'm doing.)

There were stalls of gorgeous... everythings everywhere (I'll go back and take pictures. It was chaotic -- like traffic and directions and walking in the street and trying to get a direct answer and everything else). I got to haggle! (which like our fumbling attempts to wear Indian clothing, probably made us look like idiots.) Again, going in, I had the knowledge that I shouldn't make eye contact with anyone, or even walk too slowly unless I want to buy something, but did I listen? So I ended up stopping and greeting basically every person in the entire fair. I didn't buy anything I didn't want though, so I guess that's alright. Stall owners shout to you like you're bff, and they'll say bascially anything to make you stop at their cart. Then, once you stop there, they stick things in your face and speak in the future tense, like you've already bought the item. I've never haggled, I have no idea what a normal price for anything is, and I'm already charged roughly double for everything because I'm white, so my feeble attempts to "assertively" haggle actually ellicted a lot of good natured laughter from some of the stall owners -- particularly from magic-elephant-box-this-box-is-worth-ton-of-money-is-magical-I-give-you-special-deal man, who stuck about 12 different things in my face when I stopped to look at a keychain. (I bought the elephant box. I liked it, and this guy was too hilarious not to.) There were also dancers and a group of men walking around playing instruments dressed as various Hindu gods. Everything was beautiful, people were extremely friendly and we had a fantastic time. Then we went into the parking lot and three little girls started chasing one of the boys in our group and giggling. I thought they were playing until I realized they were beggars. They intermittenly did the giggle and play around thing and  the disturbing touch feet (feet are the most degrading body part), touch mouth, and sob thing. Then they started hanging on people, reached their arms into the taxi as we got in and banged on it as we drove away.

Yesterday we went to see these gorgeous tombs that kings from the Qutub dynasty were buried in. They literally looked like palaces, and the architect that was showing us around told us that they used to be completely covered completely in turquoise. we also visited the mosque in town. We weren't allowed to go inside (which was okay with me because only the men would have been allowed in the part we were visiting anyway), we walked through the middle class shops in town (unfortunately I couldn't take pictures beccasue my camera would have gotten grabbed so I had to be really creepy and take photos from the bus... yes I know, but I don't feel that bad because everyone was photographing me, too. Actually I stopped walking to get out of the way of one man taking a picture but he put his camera back down again. So I walked past him and then he tried to sneakily snapped a picture of me). We also went to Golgotha Fort which was another prettiest-thing-in-the-entire-universe. Besides the constantly being asked to pose for photographs with strangers, the chanting school of excited little kids some notable points:

1. We went to this light show at the end that told this epic fable style history of the fort and it was narrated in a booming voice talking about the "noble glories and opulence of the days of yor," with interjections in the narration from a fake audience. "But guru, what are all these flashes?" "HaHA, they are just silly tourists." The history involved a love story.. "But how did you find me in un this dark story weather?" "The flame of your love led me to you." It was bascially the best thing ever, akin to a bad 80s horror film, but also really interesting (unfortunately we were all dead tired by this point and had trouble paying attention for the whole thing).

2. I got a snack. Appy Juice. That is not a typo. Here is the Appy Juice description written on the box: "Appy is a still apple drink at its simplest best. Made from apples picked from the choicest orchards, this tasty indulgence is brimming with good taste. Allow the silky Appy experience to engulf you in the taste that's oh, so classic."

3. We all had to pee. So we all politely queued for the bathroom, as is custom for us. And about ten Indian women just pushed past us and no one said anything... because we're stupid Westerners and how would we know that you don't queue in India. I, having just spent four months perfecting the art of queuing in England, said "hey there's a line," but they completely ignored us. They also ignored Madhuri, whose actually Indian, so I don't feel that bad. I know imperialism was really terrible for India, but I just have this hysterical image of Englishmen politely trying to use the bathroom in India, waiting in queue for hours in quiet indignance, and then peeing their pants.