Thursday 2 September 2010

When technology attempts to enslave the human race via a glitch in some robot program, I will be spared.

It’s been another magical couple of days. I discovered via yelling into the skype to my mother, who was yelling on the other end of the skype (because we still don’t understand computer witchcraft) that several of my friends and family outside Dickinson, including my home church have discovered my blog, which I am really excited about! However, for the rest of you, this means that I will no longer be discussing my long time addiction to cocaine or my latest murder victims (just kidding Mom) on this most public of forums.


The battle with my camera still rages, and I weary from the tribulations and hardships that accompany war. I have successfully inserted the batteries in the correct direction, but the camera has counterattacked, refusing to read the memory card. This has tragically cost me the ability to take a picture of an elaborate Rube-Goldberg-like toilet that also turns into a changing table, (and possibly a circular saw, I can’t tell) which I encountered in a shop in Bathe today. Fortunately, I managed to take pictures of the somewhat less impressive scenery at the top of the Bathe chapel (it’s one of the most beautiful chapels and views I’ve ever seen. Nbd). Small victories.

Backtracking, I have now seen Virginia Woolf’s house, Charles Dickens’ house, and the building that inspired George Orwell’s 1984. They’re within walking distance of my hotel, and there are people living in those houses. I’m really surprised that they haven’t been turned into museums, but I guess there are so many historical sites in England that the entire country would be a museum. The surrounding area is satisfyingly creepy. One of the public squares where people now sunbath was once the most crowded graveyard in London, so we're screwd in the event of a zombie uprising. While the Georgian architecture in the surrounding houses is really lovely, I find the spikey fences outside houses and children's playgrounds a little disconcerting (again, sorry no accompanying picture. Great Camera War of 2010. We all make sacrifices). Anyway, among other grand adventures, we visited the East End, which was really exciting because of all the books I’ve read about it. There was a sign that noted our entrance into the Good Behavior Zone (which really begs the question…) I also briefly saw the Tate Modern Art Museum, which was slightly less exciting because modern art museums are the best for people watching, and all British people wear skinny jeans, so I can’t figure out which modern art enthusiasts were also the kind that drive Hybrids and eat only organic food.

I also went to St. Paul’s Cathedral for an Evensong service (a service conducted entirely in song in a giant cathedral with acoustics so good they would make Ke$ha sound like an opera singer).

This, of course, brings us back to today, a day I have long awaited and which did not disappoint -- the day I got to visit Stonehenge and listen to crazy theories about aliens and the possibility that Merlin the wizard is responsible for the ancient structure (Take the audio tour: section 44). Then we went to Bathe, which is a really beautiful city (I know I’ve said beautiful like 30 times and looked it up in a thesaurus, but London really is the freaking prettiest place ever). Apparently, people used to write curse down and throw them into the Roman Bathes to extract vengeance from the gods against people that wronged them. You know, like stole their clothes while they were bathing. I’m not joking; this was in a museum. I’ll post a picture at some point. I also got to climb the Bathe abbey and see a view of the entire city, which I must reiterate is probably not as cool as that hilarious toilet I saw, but nonetheless a spellbinding (thank you, thesaurus.com) display of human and nature’s splendor. Also, I got to ring the bell. It was sweet.
I really miss everyone at home, but I’m having a fantastic time so far. I’m definitely starting to sense my Americanness now that I am a weird foreign kid, and I’m getting some really interesting insight about class and culture/excellent people watching opportunities/London is awesome. I don’t have a street address until next month, but as most of you know, I love all e-mails, facebook messages, and other forms of technological communication that I don’t understand.

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